Should I Move For Love?

Tuesday | January 24, 2017

Love Letters Relationships

Should I Move For Love?

I’m an average young woman who has fallen in love. We met last summer. Ocean. Martha’s Vineyard. You know, right? The thing is I am not American, and he is seven years younger, and although he wants me to give it a try, I have so many questions. On one hand, I have a stable place in Europe. On the other, I have feelings I have never ever felt before.

The question is: Should I screw up my life, giving up my job and studies, and move to the US, when he has not even finished university? I know that’s crazy, but when we fall in love, isn’t it supposed to be crazy? The other thing I know is that I’m not getting any younger, and he is a handsome-as-hell young guy with great potential. What if I abandon everything I have now for nothing?

– Move for love?

You say you’re not getting younger. But no one is getting any younger. Your fear of aging – and his youthful hotness – is not a reason to move.

The real problem is the risk. You’d be sacrificing your entire setup for someone who needs to concentrate on his education. You say this decision would “screw up” your life. Maybe you should wait until it no longer feels that way.

My advice, for now, is to plan some visits to the US so you can get more information. January reality is not summer loving on the Vineyard. You need to see more of his world, and, if it’s affordable, he should travel to get a sense of what you’d be leaving behind.

Your letter makes it clear that it’s too early to make a call. It might feel like you have to decide soon, but if you’re both this smitten, you can survive some more distance.

– Meredith

Readers? Would you move for this kind of love?

Distance Relationships