I dated a man on and off for three years. He never complemented me or told me he loved me until I spoke up about my needs and feeling devalued. He often spoke about former sexual conquests, which made me feel like he was living in the past.

The beginning of the end was when I asked why I’m unknown to his daughter’s mother. (His daughter was 1 when I met him. She was 4 when we broke up.) He said that he would introduce me to his parents and that I would spend more time with his sister and her family, but that I could not have anything to do with his daughter. He said he did not know how long that would be the case, but he believed we could continue to grow and see.

All dates were 50-50. When we traveled on trips, I paid 50 percent of hotels and paid my own airfare. He rarely gave gifts. I, on the other hand, would shower him with gifts and acts of service. I did speak up about how I felt the relationship was one-sided, and the initial response was sometimes anger (I reacted to that by withdrawing for days at a time), and then he would make some small steps to address my concerns.

He said he did believe I was very beautiful. He didn’t know why he could not see it but did not say it. He said he had anxiety when taking his child out in public, which he did only a hand full of times in the three years that I knew him.

As I look at the words I’ve written here, I believe I did the right thing by breaking up with him. But it’s confusing because he offered to go to couples counseling at the end, but by that time my cup was empty and I was so frustrated that I declined.

I have some guilt over declining the offer to go to couples therapy – and that is my question. Did I make a mistake by not going with him and working on it?

– Confused