I have been married for 20 years and have two beautiful children. For the last year or so I have come to the sad realization that I am married to a woman who, in my opinion, simply does not take our relationship seriously.

Let’s start with a very current situation, our 20th anniversary. I have always been under the impression that being married for 20 years is a pretty big deal. However, this was not the case for my wife. It was no different from any other day. The only acknowledgement of the “special day” was a simple card. No gifts, just a card.

This is not the only time this has happened. In fact, this has been an issue for quite some time. Usually she says “Oh, I did not know what to get for you.” However, this time that’s not an excuse because I told her exactly what I wanted except for the SKU. I just would like some kind acknowledgment of our “big day.”

I would not normally complain about such things but lately I have come to the realization that I am doing all of the appreciating. Because of this, I have been pulling back — because why should I care more than she does? I do believe she has noticed.

This same situation has been happening for many years; I show appreciation and she has none. Is this normal? What am I supposed to do about it?

– Twenty Years