Hi Meredith and LL Community,

My question is fairly simple: Is it okay for a woman to propose to a man? My boyfriend and I are in a very loving, committed, and fun relationship, and I feel as though our relationship is more of an equal partnership than one with traditional gender roles.

We have discussed our plans for the future, and we know marriage and a family are on the horizon. He (and I) have been saving up for a ring and wedding, but he would like to have all the money saved up before he proposes – we both have student loans we are still paying off. I understand his reasoning, but I have told him that I do not care for a ring or a big extravagant wedding. I believe he feels the pressure (not from me) to get a big diamond ring, do a big proposal, and then a big wedding. He wants to do it “right.” The more I think about it, the more I want to propose to him. I already have a plan, and I just need to pull the trigger. Is that OK for a woman to do? Even if we are equals in this relationship, would I be stepping on his toes? What’s the downside of going forward with my plans?

I would love to get some male perspective on this. I have discussed this with a couple of my close girlfriends – and they have said not to do it for LOTS of different reasons. Guys, how would you feel if you girlfriend proposed to you? Would you say yes? Thanks in advance for any advice (and encouragement!) you can give.

– Will You Be My Husband?