She told you she only wants you as a friend, but you want more. That means that this is not a match anyway. You do not have to spend your time convincing her to be in your life.

Instead of making that your project, move on to the next possibility. You learned a lesson here, that if you make someone too important before you’ve spent much in-person time with them, the stakes feel too big. Keep those feelings as small as possible until someone’s earned more. There’s a difference between being excited about a good date and deciding someone is exactly what you want or need.

You ask why she’s following you but not contacting you. It’s what a lot of people do, for better and worse. They might like seeing someone’s life, satisfying some curiosity, but it doesn’t mean they want to do anything else. If her social media presence is confusing, block or mute her. No need to accept that kind of hovering – and stay away from looking at her profile.

For the record, it’s not a big deal to want some time before trying a sleepover. It wasn’t some big failure. First dates can make you nervous or tired. Sometimes a person wants to take their time – to build some anticipation. This wasn’t about her giving you a second chance after a mistake, it was only about whether she wanted a second date. She didn’t make that happen. Save the next charcuterie board situation for someone new.

Also, I wish I could have seen that charcuterie board setup. It sounds like you know what you’re doing.

– Meredith

Readers? Pep talk here? Thoughts on what happened?