‘He Does Not Make A Lot Of Money’

Thursday | September 1, 2016

Love Letters Relationships

‘He Does Not Make A Lot Of Money’

Sorry chat didn’t work. We’ll try again next week. I set it up wrong somehow. Give today’s letter writer some points for honesty (and some real advice).

Hi Meredith,

I’ve been an avid reader for years, but never thought I’d write in. However, I am finding myself in a predicament and I’d love some opinions. A little over a year ago I met my dream guy. He’s smart, handsome, funny, and enjoyable to be around. He treats me extremely well, and above all, I trust him completely, which is something I’ve found missing from my previous relationships. However, there is one flaw: he does not make a lot of money.

Despite being hardworking, he has devoted his life to charity and works for a nonprofit, making only an average salary. His parents died at a young age and did not leave him a big inheritance. As shallow as it sounds, I am nervous that he will never be able to provide me with the lifestyle I was used to as a child and have dreamed of. I don’t think it is fair that I should sacrifice my lifestyle so that my partner can focus on giving to others more than to himself and his potential wife.

Should I leave this man, or hope that one day he will change his mind and pursue a more financially generous career?

– Poor In Love

I’m not going to yell at you for prioritizing wealth over character – even though I really, really want to.

I’m not going to freak out about you signing this letter “poor in love” when you’ve made it clear that this man makes an average salary.

This is a place for honesty, and, well … you’re being honest.

All I’ll say is that you should end your relationship with this man so he can find someone who appreciates his values. You’d also be better off looking for someone who understands what you need.

One way to ensure the life you want is to provide it for yourself. That might be something to think about as you continue looking for the right partner.

– Meredith

Readers? Can you give some practical advice?

Money 🖤 Relationships

Featured Comment

Never, ever stay in a relationship based on hoping someone will change. I don’t care if whether the issue is money, partying, or whether they’ll do the dishes. If you can’t love them for who they are now, there is no reason to expect that things will be better in the future.

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