He Followed Me Around

Tuesday | May 9, 2017

Love Letters Relationships

He Followed Me Around

Reminder: Still looking for updates from former letter writers. Send an email to [email protected] with “update” in the subject line and tell us what happened after we ran your letter. Include your original email address so I know it’s you.

Hello,

I have a workplace dilemma. I am 23 and the guy is 20. He used to follow me around everywhere. We would talk sometimes, but mostly he would just hover.

Once, when a different man asked me for my number, this work guy followed us to the break room and would not leave. I gave the man my number as friends – as someone to hang out with. But the guy who follows me stopped talking to me completely, until I said nothing happened with this other man.

The following week I ignored him. I was annoyed. Why follow someone around – and even look sad when you think another man got her number – and still not ask her for her number yourself?

He kept following me around everywhere I went, looking sad. It turned out that it was his last week on the job because he was fired. On his last day, on his way out the door, he tried to say something to me, but I jerked away and left. He has been gone from work for like three months and I want to check on him. Should I ask someone about him or leave it as it is?

– Unfollowed

First, I’m not surprised he was fired. Following someone around all day probably makes it hard to get work done. Sounds like he made it a full-time job.

Second, let’s leave this one alone. You talk about his commitment to following, but you barely mention anything about bonding, sharing, or communicating. You never mention having real feelings for this guy, only that you were frustrated that he hadn’t made a move. What did you really like about him? Anything?

Instead of seeking him out – or asking work friends for information (please leave them out of this) – think about finding someone who really tries to get to know you.

Also, consider this a lesson. If you want information, you have to ask for it. Ignoring someone is just as unproductive as following them. It’s no way to get answers.

– Meredith

Readers? Should she reach out? Was there a real connection here?

Office Crush Relationships

Featured Comment

Why weren’t you annoyed that he was invading your personal space? He was a stalker trying to play you by being the sad puppy. I would be relieved that he was gone – and I definitely would NOT invite the crazy back into my life by reaching out to him.

Marienna Share Thoughts