You’ve asked your crush to spend time with you outside of work. He has said no. It sounds like he’s rejected your offer more than once. That should help you move on.

Most people who write to us about work crushes haven’t taken that step. They haven’t tried to make plans with their crush, which is why they can continue to play the “what-if” game. In some cases, they’re not sure how to ask for a coffee or drink without causing their colleague any discomfort.

You are many steps ahead of that – so you don’t have to wonder if you have a chance. Your crush probably likes you as a coworker, but doesn’t want to be more. If he had any romantic interest in you, he’d jump at the chance to make plans. He’d find a date that works. He isn’t doing that.

It’s possible to get over a crush you see every day. You remind yourself that he has said no. You seek other company. You remain respectful and friendly, but you take a step back. You join activities or sign up for apps that give you new people to think about.

Whenever you finding yourself asking, “What if?,” you remind yourself that the question has been answered. The better question is: “What’s next?”

– Meredith

Readers? How do you move on from work crushes?