My Bisexual Boyfriend Wants To Open The Relationship

Thursday | October 20, 2022

Love Letters Relationships

My Bisexual Boyfriend Wants To Open The Relationship

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I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four years. He’s in his early 50s, I’m in my late 40s. This summer he confessed that he has known he’s bisexual since his early 20s. He told me how he cheated on his ex-wife repeatedly with sex workers (women) and had multiple random hookups with multiple men over the course of 30 years. He was so happy to come clean to me. But I am just shocked. He had told me he had only slept with his ex-wife. He swears he’s never cheated on me, but now I have all this doubt. We tried having sexual experiences with other couples together. But now he wants to be able to pursue being bi, with my blessing – meaning he wants to be able to sleep with men in an open marriage.

I don’t want to swing. I want to be the only one with him sexually. Do I try and emotionally support him and just accept that this is how our relationship is going to be, or should we just break up? I really do love him; it’s just this has thrown me for a loop. Help!

– Shocked

If you don’t want to open things up, that’s OK. This relationship – in its new form – doesn’t seem right for you anymore.

Your boyfriend is absolutely welcome to explore all of his interests, but if he’s going to have a primary partner, he needs someone who’s cool with all of it. You’ve done your best to share this with him, but you don’t like it. It’s that simple.

But that’s easy for me to say, right? You’ve been with this person for four years. I’m sure the thought of leaving him is overwhelming, so maybe for now, while you’re thrown for a loop, take a break and get space. If you live together, figure out a way for one of you to stay elsewhere. Think about what a good, happy relationship looks like to you. Then decide if the two of you can make it happen.

It’s wonderful he’s being transparent and honest. Now, when you’re ready, you can make the right decision for your own happiness. That’s the best way to support everyone involved.

– Meredith

Readers? Is it time for a break? A breakup? What about the trust issue?

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