Hi Meredith,

Over the past eight months I have been debating whether my boyfriend and I should move in together. We had a conversation about it almost a year ago, but I had just signed a lease. We are coming to the end of that lease and I am now thinking about what’s next.

Small back story: After we dated for a few years, my roommate moved in with her boyfriend and we decided we’d try living together too. I lived with him for five months and then he decided it wasn’t working. We broke up for a month and then reconnected. Not to defend his actions, but I think he didn’t realize what it meant to live together. He wasn’t ready, and moving in confused the situation.

During our time apart we both realized that we love each other and know that we want to be together. Since then, we have been living separately but spending six of seven nights together. We go out and then meet up at night, do our own things on the weekend and then get together as if we were living together. Our communication has become stronger and we are more patient with each other.

The dilemma is that after about a year of living separately and having conversations about moving in together, my lease is ending in August. My landlord has called and asked if I will be renewing and I will now have to have the very real conversation with my boyfriend. On some level, I still fear that he isn’t ready for this. My mind has been racing about what would happen if we didn’t move in together. Can I wait another year? Will this ever really happen? Bottom line — it’s been three and a half years, and I need to see moves of commitment. Is it foolish of me to think that if we do not move in together this September that I call it quits?

– the debating girl in love