Hi Meredith,
About a year and a half ago I got back with an ex. We originally broke up because I moved to Boston and he realized he didn’t want to be in a long-distance relationship. We ended up crossing paths again at a wedding and all of the strong feelings we had for each other came flooding back. At this point I knew that I wanted to move back home when I was ready to settle down. We decided to be in a long-distance relationship for the time being.
Our second attempt at this relationship was amazing. We quickly fell deeply in love. It was like we couldn’t get enough of each other. We talked about our future together. How we could see ourselves getting married and how we felt about children. We seemed to agree on just about everything. I was so happy.
About a year into our relationship, he told me he wasn’t sure that he wanted to have children anymore (something I have wanted as long as I can remember). He is a business owner and works all the time. He doesn’t feel as though that is the proper way to raise children and he isn’t willing to work less. It bothered him that he felt this way and said he hoped his “heart would change his mind” because he didn’t want to lose me. So I didn’t push it and told him to tell me if he ever decided he 100 percent does not want children.
In the meantime, we continued to plan my move back home. After over a year of a long-distance relationship, we were finally together at the end of August of this year. I was the happiest I’ve been in a long time. We didn’t have to miss each other anymore. I continued to tell myself that he would probably change his mind. However, he did not. A month into me being home he told me that he knew that he would not have children. I was devastated and so was he. He asked me if this really had to be the end. But we quickly realized that neither of us would be able to compromise and we didn’t want to go through a lifetime of resenting each other. We truly want each other to be happy.
Even though I feel as if we have made the right decision, I don’t know how to move on. I still love him very much and miss him beyond words. Sometimes I wonder if we have made the wrong choice. Was it a bad idea to end something I already have for something I don’t have yet? What if I never get over him? How do I accept our choice and move on? Any insight you might have for me would be greatly appreciated.

– Getting Over a Mutual Breakup