I am in my early 30s and have been dating my girlfriend for two years. This is the most serious relationship I have been in. Before I met her I thought I had been in a few substantial relationships but I no longer think they were significant.

This relationship has made me very happy, has opened my eyes about what I would like going forward, and made me better understand how great being in a relationship is. If things were to change and I was alone again, I would feel very lost. I have changed greatly in the last two years, all for the better, and would feel a big loss in my life.

This brings me to the important conversation that I have been trying to justify putting off longer, but at this point seems like it needs to happen. I am Jewish and she is Catholic. I am very involved in the local community and the culture is very important to me. She is not as involved in the Catholic community, but it played an important part of her upbringing and is still important to her family.

When I think about getting married and having children, I always think about what I know, which is being Jewish. I am worried about bringing this up with my girlfriend because I know I want a Jewish family, and she hasn’t expressed any interest in changing her views or how she feels about raising children in a different religion. I can honestly say that she has been great about participating in holiday events with my family, while I have been not so great in return. I am just not comfortable doing so and it hasn’t really been an issue so far.

So my question is about how to bring up this subject to best open the door to a conversation. In some ways I feel selfish saying I am only looking to raise my children Jewish, but it is a defining part of my life that I don’t want to change.

I hope you can help.

– Feeling Selfish