Love Letters: She Wants To Go On A Group Date

Friday | October 24, 2014

Love Letters Relationships

Love Letters: She Wants To Go On A Group Date

Hi Meredith,

I’m 25 and happily engaged to an amazing girl who I’ve been dating for 6 years. We met in college, hit it off, became best friends, and the rest was history.

I’m working abroad in South Africa until December, and she recently asked if she could go out on a group date with her friends via this app that sets up drinks between two groups of friends. Her friends have done it and said it was kind of crazy but harmless and they had a great time.

We started dating her freshman year in college, my junior year, so I worry that our long-distance relationship is taking away some of her prime years to go out and have fun with her friends. She insists that she is committed to me but she does want to go out with her friends, have a fun time, and doesn’t think getting drinks with another group of guys is a big deal.
Do you think my situation is normal for a young couple trying to do a long-distance relationship, or is it a worrying sign for the future?

Do I play it cool and tell her it’s no big deal or do I tell her I don’t think that’s really appropriate?

– Worried Fiancé

Even if she skips this specific outing, she will eventually wind up going out with a bunch of guys she doesn’t know, some of whom will be single. That’s life. You go out with friends, meet new people, and wind up at weird parties. There’s plenty of time during introductions to explain that you’re engaged (or married).

She wants time with her friends, and because they’re young and in dating mode, this is the way to do it. Support the outing and refrain from making any negative assumptions about the state of your relationship until you get home.

Don’t let distance warp your perception of reality. It sounds like she’s just trying to fill her time and have fun with her peers until her fiancé comes home.

Readers? Is this weird? Is there a bigger problem here?

– Meredith

Relationships