Hey Meredith and readers,

I am writing about not one single, specific problem, but just the fact that I can’t seem to get it right with dating and guys. I am in my early 20s, and throughout college have not had a boyfriend or any type of significant other for that matter. I’ve been involved in the typical college hookup culture, but never found it particularly satisfying.

I can’t seem to put my finger on why I haven’t been able to find someone — people attribute it to being in college, timing, etc, but I can’t help but wonder if those reasons are just an excuse for some type of bigger problem because most of my friends have boyfriends.

More specifically, I had a friend who I am very interested in come to visit a few weeks ago. The first night he made a move and kissed me. Nothing beyond that really happened. The next day we had an awesome time together, but after a night out he shut me down when it came to hooking up, and we left it on a completely platonic note when he departed.

I have a hard time understanding why things like this keep happening, and it’s difficult not to think I’m doing something wrong. I feel like I put myself out there a lot and I wear my heart on my sleeve without coming on too strong, but I feel like people only want to be my friend. What can I do to fix this?

– Is it Me?