Love Letters: How Do I Get Her Out Of The Apartment?

Wednesday | September 17, 2014

Love Letters Relationships

Love Letters: How Do I Get Her Out Of The Apartment?

Dear Meredith,

I’m in my 40s and started dating a coworker three years ago. She left left my company and soon moved into to my place. The lease is up at the end of October. Over the past year, there have been financial issues and problems with trust. She also has been opinionated and has said a few negative things in front of my mom who was visiting from out of state.

She just started a new job and barely makes money. She has to get save money to get a car. I am not sure if she will have enough money to get a place on her own.

I need time to refresh. I am a nice person and I do care about her but I am not in love with her.

I told her that she can sleep on the couch for a few weeks after I move, but I do not want her to be moved in on a full time basis.
How can I have a graceful exit while still being friends?

– Torn

Focus on the graceful exit instead of the friendship. The priority is to get her out of the house.

It’s still September, which means she has more than a month to come up with a new housing plan. Instead of offering her the couch — which might lead her to believe that you’re open to staying together — tell her that you must part ways at the end of the lease. You can offer to help her find another place (maybe with roommates?), but explain that it would be unhealthy for you to bring this relationship into a second apartment.

She might get angry, but that’s OK. This is a breakup so behave accordingly.

Readers? Should he offer the couch? What are his obligations here? Is there hope for friendship?

– Meredith

Relationships