Hi Meredith,
I just moved to a new city a few months ago. I have some friends from college here, but I was excited about starting over, branching out, and meeting new people. I moved into an apartment in a three-family home, so I share an entry with the guy next door. He’s my age, very cute … and has a girlfriend who I also met when I moved in (she does not live with him). I’d chatted with both of them several times, and we all expressed wanting to hang out, get drinks, etc. I was excited about the prospect of meeting their friends and having people who seemed nice and fun right next door.
One night, my friends and I went out with this guy and his friends … sans girlfriend. He started being very flirtatious, one thing led to another, and I ended up staying over. We didn’t sleep together, but I know that doesn’t make the situation any better. He says he’s never strayed from his girlfriend before, but he expressed the next morning that things are not going well with them. I said I wouldn’t be the other girl, I’ve never done that to another girl before, and I was mad at myself for even letting it happen. Over the next few weeks, we’d chat in the doorways of our apartments and occasionally hang out. Again, I can’t believe I let it happen again, but we ended up staying together again last week. He told me more about their relationship, said they always fight, that it’s nearing its end, even his mom doesn’t think he seems happy in it anymore. I said I can’t be the reason that they break up and that I’m staying out of it, yet I also didn’t stop it.
I haven’t seen him in a week, but it’s so hard having him and THEM right next door! I’m not going to push him to break up with her, I’m not going to get in the middle of it, and I certainly will not let anything happen again. I know I have to let it play out, even though it’s killing me because I really like him. I have no idea if he’ll break up with her. I’ve been trying to keep busy and not focus on them. I guess my issue is that I do want to be friends with him, and his friends seem fun too, and I don’t want to feel like I have to give up being friends with my neighbor, especially being new here. But I don’t want anything to be construed as being flirty or putting me in the middle, even though I can’t stop thinking about him.
Do I say this to him? That what’s happened, happened, and let’s forget it? Or not acknowledge it and reach out to be friends with THEM? I’m not sure what to do! I don’t like being the girl next door, but it is what it is at this point!

– The Girl Next Door