Dear Love Letters,

I am a 30-year-old woman who works in a relatively small field. I have been single for years after a sad and difficult breakup in my early 20s. I haven’t really met anyone of interest since then — until about two months ago when a new coworker joined the group. He is excellent at his job, his sense of humor matches mine exactly, and he just seems to be an overall kind and good person. I had heard through the grapevine that he had been previously married, but I didn’t know any details and figured he would tell me soon. We had been on several relatively platonic dates and talking regularly. Things seemed to be going great.

Yesterday a coworker mentioned to me that she had heard that we were seeing each other. Several other coworkers immediately gasped and said that they didn’t think he was right for me. “He cheated on his wife and that’s why his marriage ended!” I had no idea.

I asked to speak to him later on and he admitted that this was the case. He says that his six-year marriage was going through tough times, counseling was not helping, and that he did start a relationship with someone else before they were divorced (all of this happened about three years ago). He said that he hates himself for it and would never do it again. He also said that he had no intention of dating anytime soon, but I caught his attention and he was really interested in me. He also apologized for not being the one to tell me first.

Most of me wants to run screaming and avoid this potentially devastating situation, but I just can’t help thinking that I would be ditching the first guy in years who sparked enthusiasm in me. I am more upset than I anticipated at the thought of walking away. On the other hand, I have a close coworker friend who is currently going through a sad and terrible divorce because her husband cheated on her, so I get to hear about that daily.

This situation just stinks. How should I proceed?

– Interested, Confused, and Scared, Boston