Hi Meredith,

I’m a woman in my mid 30s and my last serious relationship ended about two years ago. I felt ready to get back into the dating scene a few months after that relationship ended. I joined Match.com and soon my calendar was filled with first dates. I saw a few of these men more than once, but none of them turned into a relationship and soon I felt burned out by the online dating scene. I was tired of investing my free time meeting up with total strangers instead of pursuing my existing friendships and hobbies.

I left the online dating scene and got more involved in my co-ed sports leagues, MeetUp groups, etc. These were (and continue to be) a whole lot of fun, but never once did I meet anyone who was a romantic partner. Fast forward a few months and I began to feel like I was really missing dating, so I decided to give the online scene another go. I rejoined Match.com, and within about 8 weeks I was exhausted and hid my profile.

Meredith, this cycle of “binge dating” and then not dating at all has repeated itself several times over. I really haven’t enjoyed online dating, and I would like to quit it for good. But although I’m involved in numerous co-ed activities, they haven’t yielded any romantic interests.

Honestly, I’m exhausted. How can I better meet men offline? How can I find some middle ground where I’m actively dating but not binge dating? If I get back on Match, how can I slow the pace down a bit? Are other people struggling with this?

(Go easy, guys. I’m a fellow commenter. I want some real advice 🙂 )

– Feast or Famine, Cambridge