Dear Meredith,

Long-time lurker. About 11 years ago I dated a really nice guy. We met at a wedding. We sort of fixed ourselves up and dated for about five or six months. Prior to meeting Mr. Nice, I was recently out of a relationship with someone we’ll call Mr. I-Have-No-Idea-What-I-Want. Once I started to date Mr. Nice, Mr. IHNIWIW somehow managed to win me back. In doing so, I was pretty mean to Mr. Nice in order to break up with him without feeling guilty, I guess. Once back with Mr. IHNIWIW, he conveniently didn’t want to be in a relationship. He continued to only want me when I was in a relationship until I finally had enough, moved an hour away, and met someone else.

I was in that relationship for eight years and now have been single for almost two. Lately I’ve been thinking about Mr. Nice and how I wish I met him now instead of 11 years ago. He was a really great guy and I really liked him, but at the time I didn’t see it because my feelings were clouded. I hoped I’d run into him over the years to at least apologize, but it never happened. Neither of us do Facebook so there’s no reaching out there. He is still friends with that groom, and I am related to that bride … but I don’t want to involve them because I feel I put a strain on that friendship, even though it was never actually said.

In a recent conversation Mr. Nice was mentioned and I found out he was single, and I really want the chance now more than ever to apologize and MAYBE have another shot at a possible relationship. I can’t stop thinking about him now. In the near future we might at the same function, and if he attends I do plan on talking to him.

I am a much different and better person than I was 11 years ago, but am I expecting too much? I was pretty mean and I know he was hurt, but time heals all wounds, right? Or will I be making a fool out of myself?

– Torn Down on the South Shore