Wait. If I do some basic math here, it seems you’ve spent most of your life in relationships. Long ones. You really haven’t had trouble meeting people or figuring out ways to bond with them.

My advice is to focus on why you’re feeling so negative about yourself and these relationships. There’s a lot of “oh well, it’s my fault” and “what bad luck I have” attitude in this letter. You’ll do better in future relationships if you can see what you learned and accomplished during those years. Try to remember what you liked and what made you feel good. Think about what worked, and what you’d want to bring to a partnership with someone new.

Some relationships end because it’s what’s best for everyone involved. That doesn’t mean the connection “flopped.”

Also spend some time doing all of that “learning to love yourself” stuff. Find your friends. Pursue new hobbies and the old ones you love. I want you to be able to walk through your small town feeling like you’re great company. When that’s your take on things – how you see the world – you can have some fun swiping or asking people to set you up. No expectations. Just experiences.

You don’t need magic, but you do need perspective. There’s so much potential here. Don’t date until you can see it.

– Meredith

Readers? What magic is missing here?