Dear Meredith and Boston,

I am a senior in college and about to graduate. Throughout these four years, I have found the guys at my college to be immature, stuck up, and closed off. I have never attempted dating or being in a relationship with anyone. However, a few months ago I met this awesome freshman and we bonded. He became one of my best friends, but because of his age, I saw him as more of a brother.

However, one day he wanted to see my dorm. As I sat at my desk doing homework, he got comfy on my bed and curled up. I thought nothing of it, but after a few weeks, he wanted to stay over, and I consented. He wanted to cuddle. He pleadingly asked me. I found this adorable and innocent until he attempted to kiss me. I denied his kisses until I just eventually kissed him back. From then on, things got more intense over the weeks. It took us all control not to have sex, because here’s the problem: he’s taken. His girlfriend is still a senior in high school and not on campus.

Long story short, she made him stop visiting me altogether and we cannot text after 7 p.m. She took his phone and read certain incriminating texts, which led her to set these rules. Once again, she set the rules. He told me he did not like this or want this to happen but his relationship means more to him, as it should. I saw so much pain in his eyes.

My buddy is a relationship guy. He misses affection. His girlfriend is not here so I know it was easy to cling to me. Meanwhile, I do not trust guys easily or have a lot of guy friends. Therefore, it was easy to cling to him. We connect so well, even if you put the physical chemistry aside.

I understand that the girlfriend should hate me. Partners come first. He should follow her rules. If I were in her shoes I would be angry, but honestly, he does not seem happy to me. He says he is, but now that he’s in college he has a lot of curiosities. He even said that they talked about a break but she just won’t let him go.

I know that I should just let him go, but honestly this hurts. Before his kissed me, the friendship was great and it still was afterwards. I know that we shouldn’t have continued the flirtatious behavior, cuddling, sleeping over, kissing, and so on, but we’re both dealing with new situations — me finally having a great guy friend who I happen to be attracted to, and him seeing just how free and unrestricted you can be in college. I also know that I am graduating and he has three more years here and I will be moving on to bigger and better things, but I honestly do not know anyone like him.

Help!

– Losing My Friend