I am a big fan of “Batman: The Animated Series.” Partly because Bruce Wayne/Batman on the show has an incredible voice and a jawline that makes me dizzy. In real life, that jawline would probably look weird, but in an animated world, it’s lovely. The way I felt for that character when I was a teen was similar to how I felt about Christian Slater – a real human actor, but a person I didn’t know in real life. At 16, my room was covered in posters of him. I imagined moving to Los Angeles and falling in love with him. That did not happen.

Even if I’d met Christian Slater, he wouldn’t have had the personality I invented to go with the face on my posters. It was all fan fiction in my brain. I mean, there are other reasons Christian Slater and I aren’t a couple, but you can guess them.

I still have lots of crushes on famous people and fictional characters, but they don’t compare to what exists in real life. I think you need real life – as much of it as you can handle. Have the crush on Mammon (I googled and now I’m going to spend some time with this game), but also interact with some local people people on an app. Ask friends for setups. Limit your time in this imaginary world. It’s designed to become part of your routine, but set your alarm for boundaries.

You ask what real love is like. My answer: It’s messy. It is annoying sometimes. It can’t be scripted. It doesn’t always look the same. It can be the best thing ever, but not always.

People find it by connecting and making themselves vulnerable with other humans. They use technology to find people in person. You might want to consider that – as well as clubs and games played in offline spaces, etc.

Try connecting in the world and see what happens.

– Meredith

Readers? Thoughts on moving away from a fictional crush? Have you ever tried a sim dating game? Advice for how the LW can avoid feeling bummed about other people in love?