A.

My thing: I used to visit three to four locations in one day. The coffee shop, the office, maybe a meeting outside of the office, then dinner with a friend. 

I used to do all that, come home, watch TV, then sleep.

Now four locations in a day sounds impossible. I make the coffee at home. Dinner with a friend sometimes happens instead of the office. 

It makes me feel lazy. Then I think, “Is this because of pandemic stuff? Is it because I’m five years older? Is it depression? Is it politics? Is it …”

The list goes on.

On my best days, I know it doesn’t matter. It’s not depression, because I love what I do with my extra time (also, I’m treated for mental health stuff in effective ways). Maybe it’s that I’m older? Or maybe I was never that happy doing a zillion things before.  

I think a lot of us compare ourselves to who we were in the past, and perhaps it’s all about who we are now, which will change again over time.

As long as you’re happy and fulfilled, skip the stuff that doesn’t interest you. If you’d rather read a spiritual book than go to church, that’s great. If you’d rather meet one friend at a restaurant than host a dinner party, perfect. 

If you’re sad and stressed – if this exhaustion feels like illness – go talk to someone about it.

But I do think change is OK. It’s just hard to make sense of things after the last five years.

– Meredith

Readers? How are you different? How do you know if different is good, worrisome, or neutral?

Send your own letter here – or to [email protected]. I’m reading. Taking letters about complicated friendships, too.