I met a guy eight months ago who had been in a long relationship. About a year before he was supposed to get married, his fiancée left him and never looked back. It had been two years since the heartbreak. We hit it off well and soon we were together frequently and met each other’s families. We always had a great time together. We’re in our 30s.

One issue that came up in the relationship was that he would drink frequently until he was drunk, even when he was alone at his home. I received very drunk phone calls from him on two occasions. I always called him out on the excessive drinking and then I realized that he would drive when intoxicated. I was furious and explained all the potential dangers to others besides harm to himself. He always tried to make it up to me the following day and seemed so ashamed. I caught him in many lies about drinking.

Another issue was that he would get moody and seem distant. I asked him every time if it was our relationship, but he would assure me that it was not. Well, I finally said that I had had enough and he needed to change, but instead, he said that he wasn’t 100 percent into the relationship and he did not see a future with me and didn’t want to marry me. I am devastated. But I guess I need to be reassured that the problem lies with him. I still wish I could contact him after some time passes and try to help him. Despite it all, I loved him and wanted a future with him.

– Unlucky in Love, Cambridge