Hi Meredith,

I recently broke up with a wonderful man whom I dated for about five months. I started dating him too soon after my last relationship — well, before I was ready. Unfortunately, I let that have a negative effect on my new relationship and now I’m regretting it. This breakup was fairly mutual and actually initiated by me, but I feel terribly about it now.

For the purpose of background, we broke up because things felt uncomfortable and bland at times. However, for most of the relationship I was closed off, gave many mixed signals, and basically never really gave it a chance to get off the ground. His interest in me had always been more than mine in him, and I was aware of that. But I really liked this man and I still do.

Unfortunately, I think he is OK with the breakup because he was never really getting what he needed from the relationship. I would love to start fresh and but I think it’s too late. Aside from that, I think I also sent him running into the arms of a female friend who has always been very interested in him. The lines of communication are open but I don’t think I’ll be hearing from him again. I did reach out to him to explain what happened but I got what appeared to be a disinterested response. I deeply regret having ever initiated breaking up. I’d rather have explained things and worked through it.

I guess my question is: What can I do to get another chance? Should I just give it some time and see if he contacts me? From what I know of him, he tends to rebound quite quickly, and I’m afraid if I wait, I’ll lose the opportunity. However, I don’t want to push him farther away by pressing to try again right now because I don’t think that’s what he wants at the moment, nor is desperation an attractive quality. What I really want is another real chance with him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

– Regretful in Boston