I assume you’re the “you” who was abandoned in this scenario.

You ask how to rekindle the friendship with your former friend who wound up marrying your now-ex. It sounds like you’re trying.

Don’t try too hard.

You might want to pick up where you left off with this person, but they’re dealing with divorce grief. There might be guilt – about you, your ex. Dreams unfulfilled, etc.

Basically, don’t expect to sit in front of a Playstation like you did in 2015 and have the same conversations – because too much has changed. 

This friend might feel like a night out with you is stressful. They probably have to censor themselves and not speak about certain moments in their past. This all goes back to not pushing too hard. It might not work for your friend at all.

Invite them to a very neutral place where you can keep busy. If they say no, give them space. If you’re confused by their response, ask them if they’re comfortable with these invitations.

As you spend time with this friend, think about your motivation. Sure, you miss the old days, but if this is about gloating or getting some personal closure, do something else instead. 

– Meredith

Readers? How does one restart a friendship after this experience? How do you know if it’s a healthy one?

Ask questions about dates, no dates, love, divorce, friendship, friend crushes, breakups, getting back out there, in-law drama, or whatever, through the anonymous form – or email [email protected].