Hi there,

I met B online. We texted and I found him amusing. He is 31 and I am 26. We decided to meet up and we went to his place. One thing led to another and we slept together. The next day he took me home and asked to see me again. I said yes. I liked him and I knew he liked me, but our schedules seemed to be compatible only at night, so that is when we met. He’s very reserved and serious, but he started to open up to me, and I started falling for him. However, our relationship has evolved into a friends-with-benefits situation (or sometimes just cuddling).

We do everything that a couple would do in the bedroom regarding intimacy, holding hands, kissing — I’ve slept over for a whole week, still meeting him only at night, and then we both go off to work and continue the rest of our days until we see each other again. We never go out on dates. I’ve met a few of his friends, but only because we’ve run in to them — never intentionally. We talk about what we want in life, but we’ve never met each other’s families. It’s as if we are both keeping each other a secret.

Recently I told B how I felt about him, and he told me that he really likes me but that he can’t commit to me. However, he still wants to see me and hang out at nights, wants me for company, and continues to share intimate things. Physically I am satisfied, but it’s been four months now and I want more. I don’t want to lose him or give him an ultimatum. I’m so confused. Please help me understand this situation.

– Nights