Hi Meredith,

I am in a difficult situation and I have no idea what to do. I am a 38-year-old woman and have been in a relationship with a man for 2.5 years. He is a little older than me and has two grown children.

Two years ago I asked him if he would have more children. He has never answered the question. It comes up and we talk about it, but there is never an answer. Now, two years later, I am obviously older and getting nearer to the end of the possibility of having a child. I am in the process of having my eggs frozen so I can keep the possibility of having a child for the future. But now I want an answer and have come to the point of giving him an ultimatum. I have told him I am willing to compromise on time, but not on having a child.

He was recently laid off from a well-paying job. He has good possibilities but nothing solid yet. I hate to stress him out with this on top of everything else, but I need an answer. I wish I could stop wanting to have a child but I can’t. And I don’t want to burden him with a child he doesn’t want. But I would be heartbroken if I don’t have a child. I’m at a loss. I wonder what you would advise.

– Wanting children