I Miss The Distance

Thursday | August 11, 2016

Love Letters Relationships

I Miss The Distance

Dear Meredith,

My spouse and I recently had a long-distance marriage for a year. After spending all that time apart, I find myself longing for it despite the emotional turmoil and stress that comes with every long-distance relationship. Don’t get me wrong – I adore my spouse and his company, but I often dream of having several nights or even a month of being alone. It’s almost as if I find having his company everyday suffocating at times, and need space to breathe and to think. But at the same time, I long to have those feelings again, to miss him so much that every time I see him it’s heartwarming, and then go through the heart-wrenching goodbyes. It’s a vicious cycle and I think I got addicted. What can I do to stop this daydreaming of a brutal long-distance relationship?

– Love distance

Thank you for sending this letter, because we never hear about the other side of long-distance. It can be thrilling, dramatic, and, as you put it, addictive. It can also get pretty comfortable. The only other letter that reminds me of this was from the woman who wasn’t ready for her husband to return from deployment. That one was more about the letter writer’s household routine, but she got used to alone time, too.

A simple solution for you is to spend more time out of the house. If you like returning to your spouse after missing him, make that happen on a smaller scale. Take a trip by yourself. Spend more nights out. You don’t want ditch him or make him feel ignored, but falling back into his arms after an overnight trip visiting a friend should be OK.

It sounds like you also might need some more space in your home. Maybe a private reading nook, or an office just for you. Carve out a place where you can breathe and think. Let him know that you need that area to clear your head.

– Meredith

Readers? Ever missed distance?

Distance Relationships

Featured Comment

It’s always about balance, and some people crave more independent time than others. I can relate 100%, after being apart from my significant other for over a year I now see him daily or every other day and at times it is over whelming. Definitely plan monthly over night trips, or changing up your routine with him may help as well. Scheduling routine alone time for yourself should help a great deal.

? Cherie93 Share Thoughts