I Feel Used

Friday | September 16, 2016

Love Letters Relationships

I Feel Used

I have been friends with this guy for four years, and we’ve become pretty close. We go to schools in different countries, so we only see each other when we’re home for the holidays. When we’re home, we go to the gym together every day.

We had been going on a lot of long walks this summer, and one night he kept mentioning how he thinks hooking up with close friends isn’t a big deal since both people involved would be cool about it after. Well, a couple of days later, he called me over to his house and we ended up hooking up. He initiated it. I was hesitant at first, but I went for it anyways. We didn’t have sex but I think he wanted to. We both agreed it would be our first and last time doing this, and we continued going to the gym together every day.

A couple of weeks later he called me over for a movie and asked to hook up again. I didn’t hesitate, and we did. We continued to go to the gym every day but we have never talked about what happened. I’m just very curious about what could be going through his head. Because even though it was just a hookup, I feel a little used.

– Used?

This is what I imagine is going through his head: “Sometimes I like hooking up with my friend. I find my friend attractive. My friend seems to like hooking up with me, too. And we know all of this is cool because we talked about it on our walk. How great is that? Summer is fun!”

He’s not thinking about the aftermath of these hookups because of that original conversation. He’s probably not thinking you feel used, because he’s made it clear that he loves spending time with you, even when you’re just taking a walk or going to the gym.

If you feel strange about hooking up and what it means to the friendship, it’s on you to talk about that. You can ask questions and tell him how you feel. Because you’re friends, right? Count on that.

– Meredith

Readers? Was anyone used?

Sex 🖤 Friends Relationships

Featured Comment

Just decide on what you want and make your intentions clear—by talking. You weren’t used if you were a willing participant, and I don’t think you were even duped, except maybe by yourself.

Cpl-Klinger Share Thoughts