“Am I wrong for asking my boyfriend to try to get time with his daughter alone, and not his ex included?”

Yeah, it sounds like you’re wrong, at least about who should be at the zoo. I assume this will be a very confusing/emotional moment for his daughter, regardless of her age,  so it’s best if the the meeting stays simple as possible. This child is being introduced to her dad. Why add another stranger to the mix?

Please consider why you’re so upset about your boyfriend spending time with his ex. Do you think she’s a threat to your relationship? What does she represent to you?

Don’t let your feelings about this one outing distract you from what matters most. Your boyfriend has a third daughter, and his involvement in her life will affect your plans as partners. You might not want to go along for the ride as he figures out how to be there for all of his kids. Really, your last question is unanswerable at the moment. It’s too new to know what’s best for everyone involved.

Let him go to the zoo, and talk to him about how you can be in the know without being present. Consider family therapy to help you navigate change – because you’re dealing with a lot of it.

The zoo is just a day, but the questions are just going to keep coming. Think about the bigger picture.

– Meredith

Readers? Who belongs at this zoo trip? Family therapy?