How Do I Stop The Flirting?

Monday | March 23, 2015

Love Letters Relationships

How Do I Stop The Flirting?

I met this guy in law school. We’ve spent almost every single day together and he’s in my inner circle of friends. I started to develop feelings for him, but then I found out that he has a girlfriend.

He is one of my closest friends now, and we have this flirty play thing going on — we both flirt knowing that nothing is ever going to happen because he has a girlfriend. I want to stop the flirting, but if I do, he would notice the change in my behavior and he might suspect something is up. I don’t want to end the relationship because outside of all the flirting, we are good friends.

How do I move on when he is one of the constants in my life?

– A Friend

I wouldn’t worry about him suspecting that something is up — because something is up. The relationship is messing with your head, so you must set boundaries. If you don’t start treating him like a real, platonic friend, this will only get worse.

No more flirting. I know it’s difficult to stop, but it’s possible. And maybe for now, only hang out in a group. Remind yourself that he’s just one member of that inner circle of friends.

If he asks why your behavior has changed, just be honest and tell him that you want to make sure that no one gets confused. And if you can, try flirting with someone new. Sometimes it helps to remind yourself that you can.

Readers? How can she make the friendship more platonic?

– Meredith

Relationships

Featured Comment

For the record, I don’t think it matters if you stop or not. If he was going to act on this, he probably would have by now. And if he did decide to act on it, I’m sure you would be appalled that he would want to cheat on his girlfriend, so you wouldn’t go through with it anyway. Some people are just un-acted upon love interests and you really never have a relationship outside of that.

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