It takes some creativity and intention. It might involve going out more or taking a class – anything to switch up that routine. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about the word “salience” after interviewing a brain scientist at the Broad Institute. He kept talking about how important and wonderful it is for the brain to experience new things.

That might mean something as simple as trying a new pizza place. It might be as big as picking up and moving away for a month. I think his point (in the context of mental health and relationships) is that we might be happier – alone and with partners – when we can process unique information and enjoy it.

Find that newness with your significant other. Try the new pizza place. Take a walk you’ve never taken before (I do recommend enjoying outside with someone – even if it’s just sitting in chairs in a park). Make a challenge where you make food with a different vegetable each week. I’m just brainstorming here. 

It’s not just date night, it’s engaging with the world. 

Also, make sure you’re getting alone time. If you’re with someone 24-7, there’s not much to talk about. If you can come home after seeing friends and doing cool things, there’s a lot more to say.

But really, I want to know what readers think, too. Because we have some people here in very long-term relationships. Please share secrets.

– Meredith