If you apologized and explained yourself already, that’s all you can do.

He made a decision. Now you have to accept it and move on.

I don’t know whether this kind of thing happens often, or how you usually relax with friends. There were choices made … and then consequences. That’s how it goes. It’s also possible his decision was about more than the one phone call.

Regardless, it’s a lesson for the future; you don’t want to ruin good things by repeating what happened here.

I wish I could say something to make it all better – or some magic thing to make him forget. Instead, I’ll advise you to take care of yourself. That means thinking about whether you need help. You mention a toxic ex-relationship in your first sentence, even though it didn’t seem very relevant to your current problem. But … maybe it is. If those years with your ex are still on your mind – still affecting how you make decisions – please seek counseling. If the night-out-gone-wrong has happened more than once, ask your doctor (or do a google) for resources.

I don’t want to jump to any specific conclusions about what you need. I can only say that when someone tells you they’re done, leave them be. After that, focus on health. This is a disappointment, but now it’s time to figure out how you can feel better. Think about what makes you your best self and go from there.

– Meredith

Readers? How do you let go of something like this? What are questions the LW might think about?