You say you want respect, honesty, and trust. At the very least, you have honesty.

This man told you that your short affair had to end for two reasons. They’re both important, so read carefully. The first issue is that he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone. That’s the most important fact to accept. Even if this were an easy experience to pursue, he would decline. He’s not open to love or more hooking up right now.

The second issue is how “everyone stuck their nose into it.” You didn’t say who “everyone” is, but I assume it’s his employer, other residents, maybe his co-workers. If your relationship puts him in a precarious position at his job, that’s no good. Also, he lives there. Perhaps he wants to draw some boundaries so he can keep life simple. That’s understandable.

The problem is that you hooked up to begin with. He blurred those lines for both of you, and now things feel complicated.

But they’re not – because you know the simple answer here. This situation will get better if you set your own boundaries. You can keep your distance and come in and out of your building without hope for more attention – or hugs. It will hurt, but after a while it will feel like routine. There is no confusion here, only the need to accept that it’s over.

Start looking for intimacy elsewhere. He won’t offer more.

– Meredith

Readers? Is the LW being honest about her intentions here? What if this man pursues another hookup?