I understand how exes become family. People share kids and have a life together. Even after separation, they’re connected by those kids – and more. Sometimes it’s nice when a once-romantic partnership can evolve into something different – and better.

Maybe that’s the kind of connection he has with his ex-wife. But the other exes? I don’t know. How many exes are we talking about here, and what do they want from him? Help with a move? Furniture assembly? Companionship?

It’s time to ask your boyfriend for more transparency. How does he define his relationships with these people? Are they friendships? If so, will you ever meet them?

Tell him about your discomfort and when it sets in. If you feel less important than others, say that. If your time with him is interrupted, let him know what that experience is like.

Put it all out there, from what makes you uneasy to what might make things better. (Maybe he can limit time with his one ex so it never affects your plans.)

Instead of stepping back, get answers and then make decisions accordingly.

– Meredith

Readers? How have you made space for a partner’s ex? What kind of relationships with exes feel appropriate?