My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. Friends introduced us because we were similarly outgoing and always laughing. We had tons of fun together as a couple.

Two years ago he got a job that is directly in the line of work he intends to pursue as a career. His company pays for his licensure exams, but he is always at work or locked up at home studying. His dedication is inspiring, but his demeanor has changed. He is quiet, serious, if I ask him questions he responds in only one-word answers, and uses every ounce of free time to study for his next certification (and there are many). Any excess free time he spends on his fantasy football team. He has another four years of these exams, and I don’t have four years more of patience in me.

I don’t know what I want to change — I don’t want him to stop studying, and I don’t want to break up with him because when he is stress-free and happy, he is still that man that I fell in love with. But I don’t want to live another four years feeling like a single woman with a grumpy male roommate.

His attitude frustrates me, and I become cranky and annoyed and I don’t feel like a person in a happy relationship should. I know I need to talk to him, but I don’t know what to say — I’m miserable, I know he loves me and doesn’t mean to come off the way that he does, but I can’t keep “sucking it up” for another four years. What do I do?

– Unhappy in a happy relationship, Andover