It can be tough to accept someone as they are, especially if they seemed nicer in the beginning. Maybe he was more respectful during those first hookups. Perhaps it felt hopeful, like there might be potential. Sometimes the very first memory of “this feels good!” can get stuck in our brains, confusing us when things aren’t pleasant at all.

He might change and grow someday, but not for you. Not with you. Probably not with anyone else either, but that’s not your problem.

This is the deal: you block him. Everywhere. You delete your text chain and all messages from him – because I know you’ll want to check your past communication, reliving the interaction, and trying to find meaning in it. There is no meaning other than red flags, so make it go away. You don’t want evidence that stops you from moving on.

After that, try some dates with others, if you want. Go on apps and see who else is around. Keep busy with any other social events.

Also: I think everyone here knows I’m a fan of romance novels. One of the reasons I like them is that the best of them are reasonably aspirational. They feel good to read because they outline behavior you’d want to see – and can see – in real life. Sure, it’s extra dreamy because it’s fiction and sometimes people are literal vampires, but when you strip the plot down, you see that every main character shows up for each other. It’s the villains who do things like ghost and kiss other women. There is something instructive about these stories – that even the characters who want to do bad can’t help but be present for the person they care about. I can send you a reading list, if it helps. It might help you remember what a love story looks like.

Anyway, that was fiction corner.

You deserve more and you know it. No more stalling. Block him now.

– Meredith

Readers? Steps here? Why are these extra-awful relationships so difficult for many people to end?