Hi Meredith,

Over a year ago I met this guy who turned out to be one of the most interesting, genuine, driven, and intelligent people I have ever met. We met on a dating site and I was so surprised I came across a man I can finally trust. The only problem is, I am entirely crazy about him, and for him, what started as a fling has now sizzled to a friendship.

Part of the reason why things went down hill is that we really differ when it comes to emotions. I wear my emotions on my sleeve like the majority of girls, whereas he is the typical closed-off man, whom I believe to be the most emotionally unavailable person on the face of this earth. I spilled my feelings quick, and in return I got friend zoned. Nevertheless, we continue to talk daily, sometimes good conversation, while other times it gets really unhealthy.

I have always shown some interest in him but he consistently turns me down. I take everything so personally, so him turning me down hits my psyche hard. It has caused some major tumultuous arguments between us, to the point where I am surprised we are still in touch. There has been name-calling, manipulation, and intense arguments, just as if we were actually in a relationship. In the past he has led me on and teased me, only for me to find out he is dating someone and all of a sudden unavailable. I know he’s gone through girls through the span of our friendship, so I guess I never understood why I keep getting the best friend card. I believe we have a connection, and I know for a fact that he is at least attracted to me. I just don’t know why he puts a wall up between us.

Several months ago he approached me about a business idea, and as a professional and a friend I decided to help him launch his business. I have been helping him to the point where I feel like that is the only reason why he is still friends with me. Like this project is the glue to our friendship, otherwise he would have been out the door by now. I’ve asked him about it and he has denied my allegations many times.

Recently, we have spent more time together and I have really enjoyed his company. Even though I believe there is some obvious connection between us, he has made it clear that for now, he has no time to date, so I will respect that. He strongly insists on us being friends and staying in touch, but I am just waiting for the day that he tells me he’s seeing someone all over again and I end up getting hurt. Also, I would love for him to admit he enjoys my presence in his life so I don’t feel like I am just working for him.

Is it worth keeping this friendship in tact if I will never feel good enough? Will I look shallow if I walk away and never speak to him? Why is it so hard to swallow feelings? How do I know he isn’t just using me to reap the benefits of my entrepreneurial skills? Help!

– Friend of Foe