He Connected With Me On LinkedIn

Friday | August 4, 2017

Love Letters Relationships

He Connected With Me On LinkedIn

I had a crush on a man at my college. We were in different programs but we would see each other in the library. We never talked, but we’d stare at each other a lot and smile.

Time passed and neither of us asked the other out – or even initiated a conversation. As graduation approached, I worried we’d never see each other again, so the urgency of doing something felt stronger. I found his university email and sent him a message, asking if he wanted to hang out. He very sweetly replied that even though he was in a relationship, he was open to meeting new people. In a very abrupt manner (that I’m more aware of now), I apologized for bothering him and left it at that.

Nine months later, he added me on LinkedIn. I found this to be weird given our awkward interaction. I couldn’t understand his motivation for adding me. Our fields are extremely different so I can’t help him professionally at all.

It could be that he is a “mass connector,” and that it didn’t mean anything. I accepted his request, but now we haven’t communicated. Is there any possibility that his reaching out means something? My friends don’t think so.

– Connected

This letter inspired me to spend some quality time on my LinkedIn account. It’s a real mess in there.

Requests had come in from college friends, random coworkers, and a woman who’s a traffic reporter in San Diego (she seems lovely). The system is clearly set up for quantity. It doesn’t seem to be personal.

My guess is that if your crush wanted to reach out, he would have sent a message after you accepted the connection. But I don’t know for sure.

If you find yourself thinking about this a lot, and are worried about repeating your behavior in the library (smiling without getting answers), you can send a quick note, something that says you hope he’s doing well and that you’d love to get together. Keep it simple.

I chatted about this, by the way, with a friend who works in social media. Her thought was that if this guy is connected to thousands of others, his request doesn’t mean much. She also said that if he wanted to make this personal, he would have found you elsewhere (Facebook, etc.). But she’s guessing as much as I am. Send the note – and let us know what happens.

– Meredith

Readers? LinkedIn?

Crush Relationships

Featured Comment

u0022Yes, people use LinkedIn to hit on people, LW. Generally, though, they actually hit on you. He hasn’t.nnIf you’re interested and want to try again, reach out to him. He gave you an opening, ‘Hey, thanks for the LinkedIn add. How are you doing?’u0022 – Just-Another-Bostonian

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