He ‘criticizes Absolutely Everything’

Thursday | July 7, 2016

Love Letters Relationships

He ‘criticizes Absolutely Everything’

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and we have a 1-year-old son. I’m also divorced from my ex-husband and I had two kids with him. When I met my boyfriend, he was everything I was looking for and I thought he would be right guy to be a stepdad to my other two kids. I believe I was wrong. For a year now he has changed so much to the point that my anxiety is to the roof. He’s such a negative person and criticizes absolutely everything. He’s always complaining about my kids and tells me how they should be. He has called me names in the past (very hurtful names), and he’s always mad about everything. He still claims that he loves me and that he doesn’t want to loose me, but how can he love me if he is so mean to us? He’s emotionally abusing me and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to be a single mother again but I also don’t want to be unhappy. I cry almost everyday because he’s always rude to me and yelling at me. I don’t know what to do.

– Unhappy

“I don’t know what to do.”

You do, though, right? You have to get some independence. You have to figure out how to share parenting duties from separate households. You have to build a healthier life for yourself and your children.

I know you don’t want to be a single mom, but isn’t that a better option than maintaining the status quo? You learned that even though this man was great for a while, he couldn’t sustain his behavior. You learned that when it came to combining your lives, he couldn’t be a real partner. Now you know that it can take a very long time to figure out how things are really going to be.

Get yourself away from the abuse. Surround yourself with friends and family as you go through the process. Know that it can be better than this.

– Meredith

Readers? Can someone change this much? Is there hope for the relationship?

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