1. Moving can make a person feel alone, out of sorts, and funky (not in a good way). One of you might have the best day ever, while the other feels off. Give each other room to be frustrated, happy, miserable, excited, etc. Remember that your feelings don’t have to match.

2. Know that friends don’t have to be shared. You and your boyfriend are building community as a couple and on your own. You’re allowed to see a new person and leave your significant other behind. No need to be secretive about new friendships; just a reminder that if someone seems like they could be a new BFF, give yourself time with them so every outing doesn’t become a double date.

3. Are people getting you gifts as you leave? If so, ask for experiences. Sure, it’d be great if an older adult bought you dishes and a nice bedspread, but what about a membership to a local museum, admission to an art class, or a new way to exercise? These kinds of passes make it easier to jump into your new world once you arrive.

4. Have a shared loved one visit as soon as you can, even if the place is still a mess and you don’t know where you’re going. You can explore your new home with someone who cares about you both as a couple. It’s a way to make cozy memories in a strange place.

I remember moving to Providence when I was 21, and having close friends visit only weeks later. I went from feeling unmoored (next to a very big mall) to remembering I was still me. My new experiences in Providence suddenly felt tethered to a community and life I was already growing.

It can work like that for couples, too.

– Meredith

Readers? Tips for a young couple moving to a new city together after long-distance?

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