Dear Meredith,

I dated a guy for four months. He ended things saying he didn’t see a future with me in it. I was sad but not angry, and we ended things on relatively good terms. Two months later, he called. We had a catch-up session and then he asked me out for drinks/dinner. I explained that I really couldn’t be friends, not yet, not as long as I still harbored feelings. He suggested checking back in a month later. A few weeks went by and I caved. I thought I was in a place to handle being a friend. I wasn’t. We got in a fight because of my emotional wishy-washiness and never made it to even planning drinks. I had assumed the worst of his intentions — loneliness or guilt. In reality, he genuinely wanted to be friends (and he has a strong track record of friendships with exes to support his intentions). It ended on less than stellar terms. He was hurt. I felt bad. I apologized but the damage was already done. Now, months later, I would like to be his friend and think I can be a friend. Only thing is, I don’t know how to approach him. I fear the door may be permanently closed. Any ideas?

– Hopefully a Friend, Boston