Do I Have To Say She’s My Girlfriend?

Wednesday | November 19, 2014

Love Letters Relationships

Do I Have To Say She’s My Girlfriend?

Looking for updates from letter writers on Thanksgiving. If you are a former letter writer, please send a note about how you’re doing and what happened with your problem. Send the update from your original email address (or include it in the note) so I can confirm that it’s really you. Also tell us whether the advice helped.
And we chat today at 1.

I’m in my mid-50s and have been dating a wonderful woman for over a year now. As we are both the same age, introducing her to my friends and referring to her as my “girlfriend” sounds so inappropriate (considering that it’s the same term used by teenagers to describe their significant others). Speaking of which, “significant other” is even worse, as is “partner,” or other similar terms.

Any suggestions for a better description for adults to refer to the person they’re dating?

It would seem obvious that someone would have come up with an updated term by now.

Thanks,

– Any Other Name

Your best bet is to just say her name. As in, “Hey everybody, this is Katniss.” People usually get the hint when you make a grand introduction.

It is annoying that we’re still so limited when it comes to labeling relationships. I’m not sure whether there are more words for partner in other languages (I assume there are — we don’t even have our own word for schadenfreude), but we’re stuck with what we’ve got.

Just know that everyone deals with this problem, because girlfriend/boyfriend talk also sounds ridiculous when you’re in your 30s and 40s. It also sounds silly when you’ve been with someone long-term. I have friends who’ve been together for a decade and aren’t interested in getting married. The boyfriend-girlfriend labels are an understatement for them. They’re really partners, so it makes sense for them to use that word.

For now, say the woman’s name and let everybody else figure it out. Just don’t ever say, “She’s my lover.” Because yuck.
Readers? Do you have a better label? What do you call your significant other?

– Meredith

Relationships