My first thought is couples therapy. I know that’s an obvious one, but it would be nice for the two of you to talk about what happened in a safe place. Please don’t feel like you have to figure it all out on your own at home.

While you’re there, talk about the fact that this kind of thing happens a lot in a long marriages. People get crushes and have fantasies about living another life, and yes, sometimes those feelings turn into affairs. Sometimes it’s all about wanting to be brand new to someone. It can be difficult to feel fresh to the person who’s been standing next to you for 27 years.

But in many ways, because of this affair, you are new to each other again. You’re starting the next chapter of your marriage and figuring out how you connect now. That’s a great question to ask your husband, by the way. Why is he choosing to stay? Let him explain – with details.

As for your most practical question, my gut tells me you should re-sign the lease because the last thing you need to worry about is moving a bunch of stuff. That’s an unnecessary layer of stress.

For now, just make sure you have a place to go when you need to think and to breathe. Let friends know that you might need to crash with them for a night or two. Don’t be afraid to tell people in your life that you’re having problems and could use their help. It’s easier to save a marriage when you have community.

– Meredith

Readers? What about the lease?