If the dings bother you, get rid of the them. Change your notifications. Maybe decide to check the apps at the same hour every day. I happen to think right after dinner is a nice time.

If you match with someone who makes it past the kind of talk you want to do an apps, switch to text. That will feel different.

I get it, by the way. The only alerts on my phone right now are food-related. I love you Globe and boston.com, but I’ve had to get rid of the news alerts for a while. My brain does better when I decide when I’m ready to consume information.

It also sounds like you might be feeling some pressure to balance your last experience with an ideal partner, and that’s not fair to them or you. Your next try might be with someone who’s good for a few walks and that’s it. Maybe you’re three or more people away from finding a better match.

The point is, your next romantic move feels too significant. Please lower the stakes. Remember that these days, you can take many more steps to get to a place of seriousness. There can be FaceTime dates. Picnics. You will have plenty of time to figure out whether someone deserves your investment.

– Meredith

Readers? Do you allow alerts from your dating apps? Do you check at a certain time of day? What is causing this LW’s stress about the dating process?