They Cuddle When They’re Together

Tuesday | January 9, 2018

Love Letters Relationships

They Cuddle When They’re Together

I’ve been involved with this guy for about a year now and it’s been fairly confusing to say the least. We definitely have a connection; we’re always there when we need each other, we FaceTime every night, we hold hands, and we’ve hooked up before (twice).

I really feel like he might be the one. The issue comes when I try to take it from this confusing middle ground to dating or exclusivity. I’ve only suggested it twice, but both times he said he felt like we do what we do because we’re “comfortable.” He always tries to look at it from a logical standpoint rather than an emotional one.

Recently, though, he mentioned how he’s been more aware of his feelings, and admitted that he didn’t pay attention to them before.

Do you think it’s worth trying to talk to him about this? Or should I just try to move on?

– Involved

You’ve hooked up twice … in a year? And you’ve put up with confusing cuddling when you’ve wanted so much more?

That won’t do. Unrequited love and longing takes a toll after awhile. If this man doesn’t want to go all in as a romantic partner, you shouldn’t be FaceTiming him every night and treating him like a boyfriend. It’s interesting that he talks about comfort, because it sounds like he’s the only one who’s been comfortable.

You should talk to him about what you want and whether he’s interested – because it sounds like you do need some final answers. If his priorities haven’t changed in a very specific and clear way, start moving on and thinking about how you’ll meet the person who wants to be all in for real.

– Meredith

Readers? Should she bother talking to him about his feelings? Or should she just move on?

Unrequited Love Relationships