Dear Meredith,

I am in my late 30s and have never really had a serious relationship. I had one on-and-off-again boyfriend for 18 months. I wasn’t really into him, and in my mind it was never a real relationship. Before that, I cast about trying different dating sites and hooking up with friends, always assuming I had plenty of time. Now here I am.

I recently started a job with an organization that I feel very passionately about. When I started, I knew that the goals and ideals behind the organization aligned very much with my own beliefs. I was excited to be even a minor part of their work. Then I met the CEO in person (it’s a small operation) and I was instantly smitten. The more I got to know him, the harder I fell. He is also in his late 30s and single.

There are rumblings that he is seeing someone, but they are unconfirmed. Clearly, this is just a crush on my part, but he is everything I ever imagined/wanted in a partner (not just superficially). I really admire him, his work, and everything he does. I also am committed to being a part of what this organization is doing. My problem is that I don’t know how to get over this crush, separate it from the work, and move on with my life. I can’t imagine meeting anyone as interesting or (seemingly) compatible.

– Crushed