Christmas Eve Updates 2014

We’ll do some updates today and a few more on Friday. We’ll be off tomorrow. The first update is from someone whose friends had a bad breakup. Hi Meredith, here’s an update to my letter I sent in last May about my friends’ awful breakup and whether to tell the other woman. I know how ridiculously long/complicated it was. Sad to say that was just the surface level. I ended up taking the majority’s advice and keeping my mouth shut. My female friend has been working to move past this for the past six or so months. She’s made progress and no longer expresses a desire to be with him anymore, but in the process she’s become kind of mired in her “self work” and has cut off our entire group of friends who knew, blaming them for not telling her, which has meant that the two of us have drifted apart as well. I’ve tried to be as supportive as possible, but a lot of her hurt has turned into anger or bitterness, which can be hard to be around all the time. Her scummier ex-half is still living in our town with the “other woman.” A few of my friends work with her and say she’s the sweetest person they know. As far as they can tell, she still has no idea. I’m not sure if my former friend is faithful to her now, although I do now know of at least one occasion in the past where he cheated on both of them. He’s still cordial with many of our friends, though last time I saw him, he literally ran from me — which I found oddly satisfying, though I wasn’t planning to say anything. As far as karma goes, if it exists, I don’t think it’s caught up yet. But sometimes the long cons have the best endings, right?
Signed, I Sincerely Regret Trying To Be Cute By Signing Off With ‘Girl Code’ Last Time The next update is from someone who wanted his girlfriend out of the apartment. Hi Meredith and readers, I must be honest — this past year really was bad for me. She is a widow and lost her house due to a foreclosure. When she lost a family member in January, she got severely depressed and barely worked this last year. I felt isolated and kept getting pushed away. That is why I was so miserable. I moved into the new place and took her off my insurance. She still slept on the sofa in the office. I was meeting new people and she was jealous when I told her I was going on a third date with another woman. The next morning, I started to talk to my ex and we both admitted we have feelings for each other. Only her best friend knows what we are back together. I am now being treated with respect. However, my family knows I was miserable this last year and they barely know her. On Christmas Eve I am going to visit my family. I have been telling myself that if she is able to get finances back in order then maybe I should tell my family that we are back together. My family will do almost anything for me — and they did a lot for me in the last year. They do not want me to get hurt again. How should I answer questions about the status of my relationship? This last year was a very bad year, but I am able to see light at the end of the tunnel. Any advice? And finally, an update from a recent letter writer whose husband had been sleeping with men. I did go away without my husband that weekend and ended up sharing the situation with a couple of my close friends. After a lot of wine and even more crying and some yelling, I came to the conclusion that divorce really is the only solution. I haven’t given the reason to my family. I think my mom obviously suspects something horrible, but I still love him and can’t betray him in that way, despite everything. He has moved out of our home and we do keep in touch on somewhat friendly terms, but I have distanced myself from him. Thankfully the divorce will be quick and quiet and I just hope we both find some peace out of this situation. Thanksgiving was not fun at all and because of that, I have decided to go away with a couple friends versus dealing with all the pity looks and questions. His parents have reached out to me and really have been amazingly supportive. I know he didn’t tell them the full situation, but I know this has been hard on them as well, especially because our families always celebrated the holidays together. This year, they did their own thing, and their presence was definitely missed. Our mutual friend did reach out to me to apologize. I have yet to respond and at this point and don’t feel the need to. It’s done, we can’t go back and change it, and we all just have to move on from here. I do know he has moved out of state and really hope he can pull his life together. As for my soon to be ex-husband, I don’t know what’s in store for him. He still believes he isn’t gay and someday hopes to have a family. But that is for him to figure out. Me? The first thing I did when he moved out was buy a new bed 🙂 Thank you again!!