Dear Meredith,

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We are both divorced. He had multiple affairs when he was married. He met the women in online chat rooms. After we met, I discovered that he was still visiting online chat rooms. He admitted that it was an addiction and we met with a therapist. To my knowledge, he has never been unfaithful to me during our three years together. He tells me that he is no longer chatting online but I continue to have trust issues.

Now comes the question for you. He has a platonic female friend that he has known for four years. He had asked her to date him when he separated from his former wife. She wanted to be “just friends.” This platonic friendship concerns me because of his history. He goes out to lunch and/or dinner usually once a week with her. He reassures me that she is just a friend. I torture myself with the what-ifs when they go out. It is really affecting our relationship now. He is tired of my whining and I am tired of not trusting him. What would you recommend? By the way, we both admit to not being in love yet. We are both still getting over our divorces. My ex-husband also cheated so I have more insecurities from that as well.

– His Friend